It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I've blogged anything. I must say I don't know if I actually enjoy recording my thoughts especially because I don't actually like to acknowledge half of the ridiculousness I think. And I think of a lot of ridiculousness. It may very well be true that a great many of my friendships are based on the fact that I'm okay with being ridiculous. Yesterday as I was "studying with friends" -(impossible), I somehow, ended up, in a high traffic, public area, doing my dinosaur impression. I'm a 22 year-old black woman...running around acting like a dinosaur. That led to my dialects, Jamaican, African, British Hipster, Brooklyn, and in less than ten minutes, everyone was holding their bellies dying of laughter. Then someone said to me that was basically my qualifier...That I'm in the same group as the campus nuts...the funny girls...the ones that hear "You're so crazy" on a regular basis.
The thing is I don't want to be known as "Crazy Ciana" or "Funny Ciana", I much rather be like "You know Ciana?? quiet, serious smart, Ciana???" or "Beautiful Ciana, you know" (BTW I'm pretty sure I'm the only Ciana at NIU), but I don't want to be funny Ciana. It's like the back of foods and the listings, which ever comes first means that's the largest ingredients. So I'm just mostly funny. I wanna be mostly something else sometimes. I don't always want to be the friend who is down for doing the ridiculous impressions, re-enactments, etc. When you study theater, I think people take advantage of you.
Despite my angst, I realize that being funny helps in a few situations, i.e., making friends. Guys really go for the funny girls! I can't tell you how many of my interests, however fleeting they may have been, were intrigured by my humor. But the thing is guys also like beautiful....probably over funny. But I mean what do men know?
Anyway I have to stop whining about my meager existence as a funny girl and get back to studying. Funny Girls Unite, the beautiful ones can kick rocks barefoot.
