Okay so people are always saying that they're afraid of commitment right? I did some research ( i googled) and all I found were references to only commitment phobes in the romantical, intimate or lack there of, sense. This angered me greatly because yes, I have that issue as well, but its not only in that department of my life. I am not prejudiced towards certain types of commitments! I hate them all. They all make my skin crawl, my scalp itch, my life miserable. It's ridiculous. I hate setting dates and agreeing to projects, or tasks. Example 1: I joined the church Women's Day choir and the other night as I sat in rehearsal thinking about what I'd subjected myself to, I literally had an anxiety attack. I was sweaty,anxious, my mind raced to unknown planets anything to distract me from the commitment I'd made to sing for ONE Sunday. Singing praises to Jesus Christ our Savior has never seemed so initimidating...
On the serious side it kind of scares me like...when I start to like someone and the like is mutual, but we are still just friends, I begin to get rashes all over. Just thinking about the fact that I could possibly end up with this person for life makes me like nauseous to the point of dehydration. Will I ever find love? sigh....
Idk what I'm going to do about this situation as the research of commitment phobes is limited to how it pertains to men and intimacy. Maybe one day someone will find the cure... until then this woman will probably forever be freaked out by library due dates..
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